Living in - Single handed discussion!

Recently one of my friend, posted on facebook regarding living in relationship and supporting it, saying living in has no emotional hurdles, everyone will be free to live their life, no complications, no turmoil, just freedom.

My first experience with living in relationship or i shall say, i came to know about living in relationship when i was doing my MBA degree!

It was a discussion in Times now channel- newly started tv channel, so they weren't having so many popular shows as they do now, Especially Arnab goswami :-)) hence they had called few so called- society makers (mostly mumbai or delhi high class living- not so much idea about reality kinda indians) rich people to the show. Nevertheless, show was really interesting.

It spoke of ideas, the pros and cons of living in, in a country as traditional as India???!!!!! Clearly, i am being sarcastic here.

I am not going to discuss whether living in relationship spoils the culture or tradition of this beautiful, traditional land of india, what i feel is all around the world or mostly western countries it happens openly, here it happens silently, backround tales most of the time---- We will just discuss the general positives and negatives of this not so a  -permanent relationship.

The positives :-

1. People can be as free as birds, no torture, no discipline, no compulsion, no tension. Just freedom and happiness.
2. No force of joint financial security- here what i have seen mostly, you earn your money- you spend, i earn my money- i spend, nature! Which is good !
3. No children- Main reason, people who dont want to lose their outstanding looks, physique can opt for this freedom based relationship
4. No -in laws- Country like india, even now, we are being mentally and physically forced to behave in a way which is exhausting, hence no in laws and their attitude is truly a boon!
5. We can end this relationship anytime we want- Greatest relief, truly, i had to admire this point, divorce is still a bad word in india, and we middle classed indians are forced to spend so much of money on court, lawyer etc, Living in, its beautifully non-governmental, non-legal , it just that, you pack your things and can leave. TATA, byebye, Adios! 

The Negatives:-

1. When the boy or girl dumps you- its final, you dont have any claim on that person, inspite of your true love or wanting to be with that person for long
2. Again the positive is also the negative here, he or she can leave you anytime they want! Detached life style, after all we humans,live one life and want to live to love and to be loved, not to say au revoir when its not clearly necessary
3. No children- i have heard amma's (mother's) in india generally speak- what to do with this guy, my husband , i am just living for the sake of children, so,the base line children, will not be part of this relationship, even if you have kid, apparently, it will have detrimental effect on the child who grew up with parents, no so a real parents
4. You cannot claim anything in living in, like property, alimony or anything.
5. Pure emotional disturbance- That, i have no one- he or she can leave me anytime he or she wants- Not so much of comfort in this relationship.
6. Country like india- 99% of the family or parents wouldn't support this kind of relationship- so, no shoulder to share, when we are in trouble, of course, we people are in trouble half the time, only his or her support, if its not there, no one else will be there.
7. only one decision maker- the person who wants to leave or to stay, the other person, need not oblige or reciprocate your feelings.

So these are all pro's and con's of living in relationship, but despite all these points, i still feel hesitant to write, its good or bad! Because, i really wouldn't know, its not about not committing, i personally feel, it depends on each and every person's own mind set or broad or strong mindedness.

But one thing is for sure, you must be very strong willed person to be part of living in relationship, because, its just not the society is gonna jilt you, its you partner who can do it, if he sees or dating one more guy or woman.

After all, we all need love, too much of love sometimes, but this relationship is based on temporary need and attitude, which i m really not sure, how its gonna benefit in the long run. People may question me, its better than divorce, right? to have too much of complications in a tied , legal relationship, its more than better. hmm, i wouldn't say so, because marriage has its own benefits unlike living in!

As i told its for short time, and also for people who are strong minded, not for those, who get scared of society and its norms, if you are ready to shit the world and live your own life and truly capable of leading a beautiful life without a person, you can jump on it, but if you are really soft, longing for love and support, living in - it just a way of calling sadness into your life.

Anybody, rich or poor, modern or traditional, educated or uneducated, before getting into a relationship thorough knowledge is must, whether its living in or marriage, but beyond all these investigations, fate also play a big role. But sometimes we can force ourselves to be little on the safer side.

I have a friend, who is happily married with the same guy she was living in, but few years back, that guy her former boy friend, had physically assaulted her, she is a very brilliant lady with excellent creativity - a self confident lady, was assaulted by her boy friend, so she had to seek shelter elsewhere for few months. Again, i think, they were made for each other, somehow, got married now, living happily.

But in case, if this guy, she was dating had  left her permanently, all her relations, parents, friends knew about this relationship would have made fun of her and her complications,

you can hardly find someone who understands you truly, mostly people will make harsh judgements when it comes to others.

 Truly confident, don't give a heck about this world, wanna live a free happy life without responsibility can readily go for living in!

But  If you are a person, live for your own self confidence,love,caring and also for society, we better stick to own marriage culture. Its truly better than risking it, when its not really worth it!

Prathi surendran...