It hurts at times to see, people are generally scapegoats of nuisance laws of the society
Working, wearing glasses, piercing, tattooing - nothing changes people-guys-( especially their inner attitude)-
All they want is piece of their mother- nothing wrong.- sure.
but
The society is teaching - to treat a girl as a machine to operate. Which is really sad.I personally had seen environment such as- A boy watches tv at home and the girl sweeps the floor ( because the girl is much expected to work for her in laws and husband as well)
So, they are practicing the work ethic at home itself
I am not speaking feminism here, frankly i dont even know what is feminism! I am just worried about how society treats a fellow human being in the name called "woman"
Why dont guys understand- how special you are to your parents, likewise, the girl will also be treated like a princess at home, isn't it?
I am not asking you guys to treat us like princess- no one wants princess treatment, knowing princess diana's life- its total bullshit-
But, treat woman as ur better , a real better half, make sure, they are not treated like puppy dogs, who is made to satisfy your needs.
We are ready to cook and take care of everything, but if you could atleast help us with cutting the vegetables, thats not something like, losing your manliness, isn't it?? Its a very simple yet friendly gesture to ask?
Hang on---- again, i m not blaming anyone here... Its just a series of questions popped up over my head for the last few years.
Recently saw a movie called " PODA PODI" in tamil -
Nice movie- no doubt- it speaks about relationship, understanding , mis understanding, ego, self importance and selfishness.
I really liked the movie except few factors, which i really would like to discuss here....
- Whatever goals the girls or woman have- dont you guys ever consider them as goals? do you honestly think, guys are the only one's suppose to know about stock market?
- Why dont you people motivate a fellow and closure human being and cherish her success as yours, whats stopping you except your ego?
- Nothing wrong in sharing domestic chores- except few mothers of great sons,definitely will disagree with me- but you can help.
- Fighting with a british guy, just because he hugged your wife-?????? its not showing tamil culture, its showing idiocracy- its showing how naive our guys are , it shows our innocence
- Making her pregnant, because, she will not dance in a competition- high time stupidity(sorry for such a big word)
Will you guys operate the same way, if you wife orders you around? Dont you feel tied? dont you feel being in gaol?
Holy christ- Ridiculous to an unbelievable extent. I am not being arrogant here. we are asking is a friend? more than a boy friend or a lover or a husband.
I am sure, 90% of guys who are expecting their wife's to be simple and humble, will look forward to a broad minded husband for their daughters.
My father does the same- the rule for his wife and the rule for me, his daughter is totally different.I am allowed to wear jeans, leave my hair free, to talk non sense, to laugh out loud, to dance like devil at room, to speak whatever i have it in my mind- but, he expects, my mother not to do the same.(atleast the speaking part)
He himself discriminate my mother at home, he is good to me, too good in fact. he loves his little girl, though i m not little any more ;), jokes apart, i took my father's name here, just to show, i m not ignorant what happens at my own home.
A friend of mine is worried about his marriage- saying- girls are expecting too much in marriage.
What about guys? go and check out matrimony sites. you will know how ridiculous our systematic marriage system is.
Good looking
Slim
Fair
Working
Horoscope
Homely
god fearing(what is that means? if you know pls explain)
FAmily adjusting
Lovable?
Educated(some want only MCA, BE cos of good money)
Wait here
Girls list
Good looking
Earning
Good family
Horoscope
And thatsall
People dont think, i m being woman chauvinist here... I am just trying to make sense from both the sides.
We are asking very less, aren't we? comparatively :)
I may be wrong, correct me if i m- but please dont say, you are 100% right-
All i am again asking is- We dont need great sacrifices - all we need is a friend with little understanding.
Hope its not too much
Continues
Prathi surendran
You may consider me arrogant after reading my short comment, perhaps a male chauvinist ;-)
ReplyDelete1. I hate this marriage system and thereby the customs along with this system.
2. Obviously, matrimonial seems a trade to me. When it comes down to trade, it is all about profit. Isn't it?
Okay, Any trade has 2 parties, a seller and a buyer. I'm compelled the consider "Girl" as an item and Girl's parents as seller as "girl-item" moves into buyer's hands/house.
Unfortunately, In this trade, the seller gives money to the buyer. Ah. Now, it changes sides. Now, The girl's parents becomes the buyer. But, Their expectations are simple. Their daughter should be comfortable at the new venue for her entire life thereafter. That is it.
So, You will agree with me that a male has a upper hand in this regard as you're moving in to his house.
Now, I explained you the existing system. I hate it. Trust me, I hate it from heart. But, A girl who has chances (I'm not talking about girls who are forced to), a girl who has chances and gives in herself for this trade system, deserves this! Deserves this narrow minded discrimination.
Sorry to say, but i do consider u a chavunist now as u suggested.
ReplyDeleteTrade, buyer, seller, item?????? I m sure, we dont deserve those words.
Whats wrong in parents thinking, that their girls should be comfy enough in her new environment? is it wrong! ITs not always about giving, its about demanding from the guys end too....
Tell me both are wrong. i agree.. no offense.
But using words such as ITEM and sales- sorry friend, i m not into it.
:)
What u talking about girls has chances? do we ever have chances? being an educated, earning, girl myself, dont have a chance! Trust me!
I agree its like sales, but girls are not to be blamed for it.
Society is like that, we have to follow few norms, what i have asked in my blog was
Despite all those negatives, how we make ourselves more human and adjusting.
Not to speak girls are items :) Disagree and i condemn u using that kind of words :) as your friend :)
Regards
Prathipa
Note : I used the word "Item" in the meaning பொருள். நம்ம தமிழ் அர்த்தத்துல நீங்க பாப்பீங்கன்னு எனக்கு தெரியும். அத நான் மீன் பண்ணல, உண்மையாகவே.
ReplyDeleteHa ha... I hereby declare that the previous comment was written with a preconceived notion that this is will be your response. I was damn sure that you'll reply this way. I even guessed you few sentences. You will take me a chauvinist. I know that. But, stop here. I allegedly commented there. Why? I typed the word "ITEM" after a long hesitation and deleted it and again reproduced it.
Why??
My dear sister, to show you, who you are. What you're capable of. What every women is capable of.
You celebrate a feminist, even a milder tone, say the heroine of 2 states when she makes a marriage happen without dowry. You love feminism. you love freedom. But, you degrade yourself. That is what I'am trying to say, you degrade yourself to a live-less "thing".
I'll explain why. You showed me anger. That anger was intimidated by your "self-respect". Stop here, prati.
A blog comment, a simple comment, provokes your anger for self respect. But the same disappears when you're in to this foolish marriage system, you don't dare to stand up against the system, your parents, or the comfy life ahead. Because, If you stand up and fight, say, you declare you will marry a guy who never asks for dowry, you know, a struggle ahead is awaiting.
You want to throw the blame on the society, conservative father, orthodox family and get married more or less happily. And remember , when you become a mother, you become a part of the "Conservative parent or orthodox family".
Ah, Did this makes sense. Yes, you are the part of this damn society. You're responsible for this system. Don't tell me you don't have chances. You can create one. Just, you choose the path of roses. Remember, Every thing begins at home.
Note : My above comment relates to only girls who are educated above bachelor degree. I know, there are lakhs of my sisters around without any sort of chances to stand up and fight for.
I used the word "Item" in synonymy with "thing". It was intentionally used to provoke your anger. I'm sorry, if it had hurt you anyway.
Wow, first time u made me agree with u, And proving me wrong.
ReplyDeleteYes, i m not standing against, my revolution stops here in this blog itself, but brother, it doesnt happen in a day.
Your intention to provoke has not been successful, trust me,when i commented the last message, i was so cool not even a second angry :) Believe me.
Yes, probably listening to those nasty words everyday in my life, like that about a girl, made me think, even you meant that way.
Could you blame for that?
FYI- My father is not conservative, i meant to say, he is not ready to accept what he had for his daughter but not his wife.
There are many factors, which is wrong, corrupt, bad, etc.
I deeply and profoundly feel your pain and anger over this prejudiced society , i feel too....
What can we do? tell me, we discuss few important factors in twitter and fB, now there is cyber case for that also.
If i stand up and be a bharathiyar kanda pudhumai pen, which i really want to desperately and try my level best to imitate his imagination...few areas i failed and few areas i m passing.
In a so called cultured and indecent(?) society like this...we can stand up only for few areas, but trust me , all the women are doing that.
I am not talking only for girls in my age, i m even talking for your mother, cooking and expecting understanding for ur dad, from u...
My purpose is- if you read and help ur mother, cutting her vegetables or atleast wash ur jeans once in a while makes me feel happy as a writer or a blogger.
It wont change in a day, it will one day.
P.S Dont have a pre conceived notion i m angry, i m not angry, i m trying to reason with u...Thatsall :)
Regards
Prathipa
First of all, I've a cooked a many times and helped my mother only on a very few occasions in things like washing or cutting vegetables. She often complaint about it and she even make this point, what do you have to say to society than helping me. But, Trust me, she knows that my style on vegetables and washing is awful, if i washed a cloth, it is better unwashed you will say. I tried, it didn't come. :-(. But, I do travel n stuff. I'm not a junk.
ReplyDeleteNo more questions except one, If you say "my revolutions stop here, in this blog" who will carry over it in the real world? Your readers? If you a girl who as read so much, has views about life, a intellect, refuse to stand up, who else will???
This is like "yeah this society has change..but I have no role in it.".
I won't change in a day. It will never change if everyone speaks against the system is one who accept and practice the system in their real life.
I have policy, I never write/preach people what I never follow in my life. isn't it wrong? If I cannot follow something, it is ridiculous that I speak about it, forget preaching.
I'm just sad. You know why.
I meant to say "My revolution stops in my writing"
ReplyDeleteBut, my writing never stops, so it continues, u dont need to feel sad about it,
We do stand up "I m sure i have mentioned it" , i stood up against make up, when a guy had come to see me.
I was not decorated, i was as i was.
Its a little way of showing ur dignity and practice.
You can check out all my blog post, i never write something, which i dont feel strongly about, even if i encounter hatred due to my comments. Its a fact.
I meant to say " its doesnt happen in a day, which is true"
You cant expect me to list out the incidences where i had stood up in my life.
Trust me, i had been a piece of comedy during my mba days, just because of my strong and bold nature. IT never stopped me, till this date.
Beleive me.
I am a writer, good or bad, i donnom, i m a writer, hence, i do voice my opinion in writing, if so required live, i will do so.
I have carrying over to the real world, but i dont know how to make u understand that! Thatsall,
I believe an individual change will one day affect the society, thats the result- this blog post.
Policies i dont follow, why would i come and write it here, to get ur antogonism?
No brother, strong, independent woman are always on target.
But we stand up, its not only me.
A woman like me there in every home,making their day lively despite having 1000 destructions.
Hope u understand and leave ur sadness away
:)
:-)
ReplyDeleteHey buddy I m not that like guy da ;-) I m a guy suffering for female affection da.. u knw I ll treat my wife as princes only I ll earn lottt money for her to buy BMW diamond etc for her and even I ll treat my lover and sisters all in same way da but god played in my like hmmm I don't have sister lover and gal frnd ya always alone shit :-(
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm....... I really wanna say something from my heart :
ReplyDeletePrathi neenga பாரதியார் கண்ட புதுமை பென் !
hmmmm Many women in this world need ur help ... Please expand ur network at least to make people understand this REALITY ! :(
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