I had a troublesome childhood.
My Amma started working when i was ten, my father was at malaysia, half the time i was with my grand mother, whose health was bad 24/7
And i always felt, i m not loved enough!!!
She is working , he is abroad and i m stuck with a witch of a grand mother!!!
My goodness, life was hell!
And, i made everybody's life around me hell too.....
I made sure.----that,,, i must always do, what they dont want me to do......
Terrible mistakes, which i regretted every single day until a year back
Then one day i realized, i was guilty of everything.
In the past, when i had shouted my parents, screamed at my grand mother, had a big fat row with my uncles and aunts....etc etc etc...
I was always a furious kid!!!
There had been a stage, my family members was even scared to talk to me!!!
I was that violent!! I went to yoga classes to tune myself down!!!
Then one fine day, spoke to my yoga master!!!
Regarding, my mother's ill ness and everything....
He assured me i m not the reason....i asked him "how" due to me, she got so tensed and her BP went high and everything..
He said,whatever people are doing in their life, its their own decision
If someone want to be tensed, they will be
If someone want to be cry, they will be
If someone want to be happy and they will be too
It is us, who put us in the trap of being guilty....
Once we are free from guilt, everything looks beautiful and we can improve our qualities also.
So the next time i went home, i spoke to my mother regarding this...
I told her, i cant be guilty all my life, due to the way i treated u...
hence, you should take care of your health from now on...
So, everyday i force her to eat healthy foods, and make herself confident on her own.
She is doing fantastically well i should say...
Hence, instead of forgiving others. we should always forgive ourselves....
Again, that reduces lots of tensions and sadness in life...
What are we all living for? To be happy isn't it?
Who stopped us being happy????
No one right!!!
So be happy and forgive yourself
We all do mistakes..... if we dont forgive our mistakes, who else will????
Always with love
Prathipa
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